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I have always wanted my own personal robot and several years ago there was a robot in particular that I desperately wanted. This robot was made by the Asahi beer brewery and would pull a frosty mug from its chest, open you a cold Asahi beer, pour it, and present it with a cheery Japanese salute. Asahi makes my nose stuffy for reasons that I don't yet understand (although I love Osaka where Asahi was originally from), so I never bought the two hundred or so cases needed just to qualify for the lottery. A robot pouring Sapporo beer – now that is something I would get involved with. Even better than that, a joint venture with Japan Rail to provide a Sapporo beer pouring penguin robot. I just mailed one month’s worth of Sapporo cans back to New York as a status report, snapshot, and souvenir of my time in Takinogawa, but I may need them back if the contest begins, or if Sapporo begins a point card loyalty and reward program. What did airport security think when they saw the X-ray of the shipping box filled with empty beer cans and what would I really feel when confronted with a machine that willingly disembowels itself and offers you its innards with a smile?

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Take an advertisement from a country that is not your own, reverse the tones in the image, and then mull over the details. My conclusion is as follows: meanwhile, there is an uneasy entente cordiale between penguins and robots in the netherworld where SUICA and PASMO exist. PASMO the robot roller skates over and presents an olive branch in the form of an 18% gray card to SUICA the penguin who is standing with its right flipper raised as if holding a 0% gray card in the night. The half purple, half 0% gray card in the penguin's left flipper is possibly for measuring things beyond the comprehension of those outside these infernal regions. This vignette could alternately be taking place in the depths of the undersea world, which would account for the penguin's luminescence. If this is the situation, then perhaps Utis, or Nobody would be more appropriate names for both of our characters rather than SUICA and PASMO. Are we, the spectators, presumably in a bathysphere?

Bottom image: Captain Nemo observing a giant octopus from the viewing port of the submarine Nautilus, in Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues under the Sea. (Courtesy of NOAA Photo Library.)