90

I have always wanted my own personal robot and several years ago there was a robot in particular that I desperately wanted. This robot was made by the Asahi beer brewery and would pull a frosty mug from its chest, open you a cold Asahi beer, pour it, and present it with a cheery Japanese salute. Asahi makes my nose stuffy for reasons that I don't yet understand (although I love Osaka where Asahi was originally from), so I never bought the two hundred or so cases needed just to qualify for the lottery. A robot pouring Sapporo beer – now that is something I would get involved with. Even better than that, a joint venture with Japan Rail to provide a Sapporo beer pouring penguin robot. I just mailed one month’s worth of Sapporo cans back to New York as a status report, snapshot, and souvenir of my time in Takinogawa, but I may need them back if the contest begins, or if Sapporo begins a point card loyalty and reward program. What did airport security think when they saw the X-ray of the shipping box filled with empty beer cans and what would I really feel when confronted with a machine that willingly disembowels itself and offers you its innards with a smile?

48

Endless emails regarding my Tokyu Hands “Hands Club Point Card” keep coming to me, in Japanese. I can’t read them, but I know that they are good because the Tokyu Hands "Creative Life Store" has upwards of nine floors with products ranging from practical household items such as twenty varieties of nail clippers, to the more mysterious giant daikon radish costume. Variety and interconnectedness is the order of the day and there is even a cat petting salon on the top floor.