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Paper-thin, waxy napkins from cafés have almost no absorption power. They simply relocate food to new areas of your face. I am hoping that a crow doesn’t swoop in for a snack. I was recently asked to consider that the napkins are intentionally not absorbent because they are actually ornamental – that you should be eating so carefully that you have no need of a napkin in the first place. It turns out that crows are the guardians of good manners.